We're in the south island!

We are a little bit stuck on an absolutely beautiful road between oamaru and dunedin. There is snow all over the place and it is STUNNING. We slept in Oamaru last night. T'was a wee bit chilly. The sky is blue and the snow a plenty. Quite a perfect day, although if we could actually move on this road it would be lovely.

a new dress day a very happy day

I heard a knock at my door this morning, knowing that my weekly trademe purchases had already arrived (A snow white troll, complete with apple. A ipod docking station. A bunch of plastic snorks. A lovely orange jersey that only I like.) I decided I was making the trip up the hideous stairs with cold swollen and aching joints, just tew discover I would need tew climb more stairs and walk down the long dreaded corridor tew place the package on the bench in the front house. Half way up the stairs I cursed silently at my lack of slippers. But when I opened the door there, with my address written as though a fairy had penned it with ivy ink, I gasped, fewr this was no ordinary package, this was a magikal fairy package from my long loved beautiful fellow pixie, Betty McBride (Known tew mere mortals as Jeni). But don't let the factn it was from fairy land fool yew, this package was big! I ran down the stairs back intew my room, suddenly removed from all pain due tew the excitement, thoughts raced threw my head. I imagined stars dancing out, I knew that only magic could be inside. I carefully opened the package, as not tew slice threw any unread fairy messages scrawled on the outside, my eyes grew wide, out came a beautiful hat, brown and quaint, in velvet with a large satin bow, a magical blue dress fit fewr a fairy queen, laden with lace around the skirt and a beautiful bow on the front, out came purple and white striped shoes, out came bronze shoes with big bronze bows and peep toes, a beautiful long pink skirt covered entirely with flower embroidery and a larg pocket on the front, and a long green button up dress patterned entirely with trees and picnic goers, and lastly a pink and blue britney spears tee. Oh my!! This was the beginning of a beautiful day!!

. . . and then I awoke

Imagine. Imagine sitting infront of yewr doctor. Watching her breathe a quiet sigh as she terned tew look at yew with sorrow. Imagine. Imagine yewr heart sink as she began tew explain. "Yew have cancer cells, this is not YET cancer, but will be if left untreated. These must be removed." And the only, only thing yew heard from that conversation was the word 'Cancer' resounding around yewr head. Imagine. Imagine yewr heart sink as yew walked out of the office dumb founded. Imagine the tears rolling down yewr face as yew explained the situation tew yewr boss who in tern promised tew pray fewr yew. Imagine. Imagine that yew have tew endure days, followed by weeks, followed by months, of tests. Most of which include one or two doctors having a good look, and a good scrape, inside the most sacred part of yewr body. Imagine. Imagine 14 months after that first moment hearing the horrendous word, yew have tew leave werk because yewr body just can't cope with all of the illnesses that came afterwards. Imagine. Imagine meeting the most fantastic person that yew have ever met just after yewr boss had promised tew pray fewr yew. Imagine being a non-christian, yet going home and pondering the meaning of this person entering yewr life at such a perfect moment. Imagine. Imagine having a hideous year, filled with heartache and health failure, and having everybody in yewr life supporting yew whole heartedly along the way. Imagine if most of the people in yewr life were brought intew yewr life by that fantastic person that entered yewr life at the most magical time. Imagine. Imagine falling asleep every night, smiling through the pain, just because that person is in yewr life. Imagine.

In the past year I have battled my ill health, ended a 5 year relationship, signed over a successful business I built from the ground, struggled through work, moved twice, left two jobs, created a small label, fallen in love with a boy and two families, watched four amazing people marry their bestfriends, and even helped with one of the weddings. But most of all, I fell in love with a boy. And he changed my life.

I awoke over the past year, if yew knew me 15 months ago yew would have known how suppressed I was. If yew know me know, yew know I'm not like them. "I'm not like them but I can pretend" God has a plan fewr all of us, not being me in all my crazyness is lying. Lying tew my friends, my family, myself and God. Quite honestly, I won't dew it anymore.

It doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me when people stop and turn around. It doesn't bother me when people point at me. I don't mind when people call me a freak and think it's cewt when old ladies admire me. I love the look on Alistair and Sef's faces when I make a joke I am completely unaware of. Most of all, I love being me. This year I met myself. Hello Hazel.